by Peter Woodhead

“Your poster says that I could learn
Computering today,
I am completely ignorant
But I would like to stay”.

“Please take a seat”, the Expert said,
“I’ll try to put you right,
Even if it means that we
Will work into the night”.

Confronted with the Monitor
The Man said “ What is that?”
The Expert said, “It shows you what
The Mouse does on the Mat”.

The Man replied “I cannot see
What Mice have got to do
With Monitors and Computers,
I‘m bewildered, are not you?”

“The time has come,” the Expert said,
“To talk of many things,
Of Cursors, Icons, Thumbs and Nails,
And Clip Arts that have Wings”.

The Man then said “I’ll do my Best
To understand these Terms,
But tell me please –what do you mean
A Re-write Disk? – it BURNS ??”

“You look old Mr William”, The Expert said
“And your Hair it has turned very white,
Pray tell me Sir, as a Man of your age,
Surely this cannot be right?”.

The Man replied, “ It is the strain
Of trying to understand
This Computerised Technology
That now is in demand”.

“I really must re-think my aims
To lower my Ambitions,
And henceforth I will go to learn
By following old Traditions”.

The Expert said, “What will you do?
For I have tried my Best,
To guide you in the Expert way
Preparing for a Test”.

The man then said, “I’ve had enough
And am now off to find,
St Peter’s Rooms, where all can go
And people there are kind”.

“For I have heard that older Folk
With hair more white than mine,
Have passed their CLAIT exams with ease
And drink Coffee at Half- Time!”.

“Computer classes at this School,
Are run by Ladies Fair!
Who teach New CLAIT, and other things
To Students who go there”.

So on a Friday Morn he went
To learn with ease from LYNDA,
And found much Pleasure being there
No pressure, rush or hinder.

The Expert said, “I did my Best
To teach you with compliance”.
The Man replied “I think you did
But please don’t try,
To baffle me with SCIENCE !!

© Peter Woodhead 2004