THE DIETER'S LAMENT

Wouldn't it be wonderful, Just for a day,
If I didn't have to count the calories as I stuff them away.
Why can't I eat just one Kit-Kat? Why do I have to eat two?
If I carry on like this I don't know what I'll do.
I'm sure the more I think about food, the hungrier I get.
Now it's time for 3 more miles on the bike, when the timer is set.
Now I'm hungrier than ever, all over agian.
This diet is turning into an absolute pain.
Now I'll go for a walk to burn off a few more.
But what happens when I walk back through the door.
I put the kettle on, for a cup of tea.
Out comes the Kit-Kats One, Two, Three.
I'm really going to have to give up this diet.
I think to myself, during 10 minutes peace and quiet.
I'll forget about the diet, before it takes over my life.
Because all it is doing is giving me a lot of strife.
I know it's doing my health no good dragging 'round all this weight.
But my brain forgets that, when tucking into a piece of chocolate cake.
I struggle and struggle with this diet all day.
But chocolate bars and cake just get in the way,
I go to the shops, They stare at me from the shelf.
I wasn't born to be thin, I console myself.
(Guess what with).

© Pat Dring 2000